Okay, this rewrite/new version of the original short story? Excellent. What I wanted from the short story and more. Loved that everyone had *friends* and *families* and stuff that important to THEM.
Chemistry in this one had more time to develop and so I bought it a lot more. Still thought the king's heel turn was a little thin-- to go from heel turn to, oh btw you're the acting king while i go kick some butt in a matter of what, days? was a little much, but it was sold pretty well. I would have liked more interactions with the king's kids-- it felt like they were definitely important to their dad, but would have liked more initial interaction between Alan and them.
Still love the language conceit.